An honest reflection of me- in fragments. Imperfect- Grace Covered. Balance. Mom. Wife.
Nurse. Homeschool Teacher. Christ follower first. Second changes. Thankful.

Who I am anyway?

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

The world says we are the roles we play
An athlete
Type A or type B
A husband
A wife
A musician
A dancer
A mom
A dad
A job title
And so this role we choose to play, the world tells us, is our identity.  

But what happens to the injured athlete unable to perform
The type A who can't sustain order or the type B who needs to have it all together
The marriage that falls apart
The musician who goes unrecognized
The dancer who doesn't get the part
The mom or dad who looses a child
The faithful employee who looses her job
The busy bee who is overwhelmed

So, the world tells uswe are the sum of what we lack. 
And, we get a new identity, failure, disappointment, and not good enough

Our culture says 
We are what we look like, dress like, and who we hang out with 
So we compare ourselves to others and become wholly discontent
Culture says we're the names people call us, 
So we let those words infiltrate our being and choose to stay in the box that others created for us

The world says you are how you feel
You feel sad, find a way to release it, you don’t want to live anymore then don’t
Your gender is relative, You feel like a boy, be one, You feel like a girl, okay - good for you
You feel angry, confused, insecure, hopeless, unloved - Act out and on your feelings
The world says your feelings are truth


And, when we choose to let the world determine our identity
We become enslaved to a set of expectations God never intended for us
And we are hostages to the lies

Identity is defined as who someone is; the qualities, beliefs, etc. that make a person different from others.
It's our creator who makes us different

You are His unique creation,
He calls you a masterpiece, beautiful, worthy
You are His son, His daughter
He calls you His own, His heir, His warrior, His child, His love
His truth never changes?
Because He never changes

And so 
We are not the roles we play
We are not the sum of our insufficiencies
We are not our clothes, our friends or the names people call us
Our identity is not our gender, relationship status or how we feel

Our identity is found in the ONE who called us out of the mess, out of the lies, and to Himself
John 15:19 “you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of it.”

Do you know who you are because of who He is?
Because God is forgiving - I am forgiven
Because God is loving - I am loved
Because God is always present - I am never alone
Because God is all powerful - I have power
Because God is creator - I am created, beautiful, on purpose, the only me  
Because God is Father - I belong, I have a family
Because God is all knowing - I am known
Because God is king - I am a warrior
Because God is purposeful - I have purpose
Because God is available - I am heard
Because God is merciful - I have hope
Because God is unchanging- I am content

It's not always easy to be myself.  
Living as your created self on purpose takes courage
But we don't have to do it alone
HE is the chain breaker.  
He is the savior the redeemer.  
He is the hope maker and the freedom giver.

So we can be different.  
Just as HE created us.  
And yet, ALL can find their true identity in HIM.

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[Christian Girls] Stop making 'husband lists'

Thursday, May 12, 2016

My sweet sisters,

You proudly proclaim God as sovereign and Lord and resign to His timing in so much of your life, 
But, concerning the husband list we've lost sight of who God is
I've too often heard "I made my husband list and two weeks later my prince charming showed up, now two months later we're engaged and..."
Stop.  Stop, advertising God as a genie 
Genies give you what YOU want. 
But, God - He gives you something infinitely better, He gives you what you need.

Genies don't care about you, it's their job to grant your wish
With a genie you're in control
God cares about you, He cares about your soul, your eternity, your heart and your everyday
Not because it's His job to care, but because it's His nature

You know who else we advertise God to be when we claim our hand-written husband list brought us our God-given, Jesus-loving husband wrapped up neatly with all the qualities and characteristics we requested?
Santa Claus
Stop it.  You know that's not who God is
He is too worthy, and too good to be compared to such a character
Santa brings gifts to the good girls
God gives His gift freely to all the bad ones

And what of our unattached Christian friends?
What about their lists and their desires?
What about their waiting and hopes and heart aches?
Does God love you more?  Love them less?

Of course not.

So why in this one area do we advertise God to be any different than we know Him to be in all things?
Sometimes, I think it's mindless - it's how our life happened and we don't stop to think of how we're representing God
Then there's always the long-shot that our desires are exactly the same as God's (I wouldn't bank on it though) 
But, I fear mostly it's that we think a little more of ourselves than we ought in respect to how much control we have over this life

What if instead of writing 'husband lists' we started writing a helper list?
A list that consisted of our weaknesses, and strengths 
A list of our needs and inadequacies 
A list of our hearts desires, even if they don't match God's
A list filled with an honest plea to let God be in control, and to be used by Him
What we we started asking God to grow in us the qualities that make us worthy of being called His daughters, daughters that can be a good helper?
What if we started asking God what His expectations are of us, instead of expecting Him to deliver for us.
What if we asked God to be our sustainer, and believed He could be - even when it feels lonely.
What if we prayed that our lives would be a blessing to God, instead of asking Him to bless us.
What if we want a husband, what if we want to be a wife?
Then tell God, and wait patiently
And in the waiting you can remind Him, ask again and revise your help-list 
Making it full of honesty, emotion, and even more questions  - knowing God will provide the answers
Sister, stay focused on God
Make your list about loving Him, serving Him and trusting Him,
Not about a someday human him

God created you beautifully, and uniquely. 
Your life is not an accident, the mistakes, the heart aches, the successes and joys.  
The good He rejoices in, The ugly He redeems.
You are His treasure
Is He yours?
Maybe your purpose is to be a helper, but until that day comes.
Be His daughter
Because that is more than enough.

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